THIS and THIS and THIS : Spilled InkAsParkersIs
  • i feel worthless after the first time
    i feel less valued after the first time
    better yet
    i always feel worthless
    i always feel less and less valued

    the first time was amazing
    maybe it was the way he kissed
    the way he whispered things in my ear
    the way he treated me like a prince

    or maybe it was just the lust
    maybe it was nothing

    i'm scared
    i'm scared
    i'm scared

    that he won't like me
    or that i won't like him

    it was good
    it was good 
    it was good
    he was good

    his touch was soft and gentle
    maybe he cared

    no what am i thinking

    no one cares
    no one cares
    no one cares

    it wasn't love
    it was lust
    it was just the moment
    of two boys lying naked

    two boys
    i stressed
    two boys
    two tough boys who fought the same war
    he - won the fight
    i - still fighting
    but we are boys
    we are boys
    we are boys
    or maybe he was a man
    and i was just a stupid foolish boy

    oh what am i
    what am i
    what am i?
    what exactly am i?

    it was like he cared
    of course he must act it right?
    but why would he care?
    why would he care?
    why why why?

    we are two boys lying naked next to each other
    we reached out and touched
    it was like fire
    it was my first time
    and dear do i want it again
    again and again and again

    no one cares about you evan
    you are nothing evan
    let that sink in your head

    go cry in the corner
    no one cares
    no one hears you
    because you won't let them
    you won't

    you are tough
    you act tough
    you are not tough
    you are stupid


    and you will cry
    you will keep crying
    until there is nothing left
    until there is no tear
    until there is no voice
    until there is no one
    for you

    why don't you keep this moment evan
    why don't you live in the moment

    no evan don't fall for it

    you suck
    a dick


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