i feel worthless after the first time
i feel less valued after the first time
better yet
i always feel worthless
i always feel less and less valued
the first time was amazing
maybe it was the way he kissed
the way he whispered things in my ear
the way he treated me like a prince
or maybe it was just the lust
maybe it was nothing
i'm scared
i'm scared
i'm scared
that he won't like me
or that i won't like him
it was good
it was good
it was good
he was good
his touch was soft and gentle
maybe he cared
no what am i thinking
no one cares
no one cares
no one cares
it wasn't love
it was lust
it was just the moment
of two boys lying naked
two boys
i stressed
two boys
two tough boys who fought the same war
he - won the fight
i - still fighting
but we are boys
we are boys
we are boys
or maybe he was a man
and i was just a stupid foolish boy
oh what am i
what am i
what am i?
what exactly am i?
it was like he cared
of course he must act it right?
but why would he care?
why would he care?
why why why?
we are two boys lying naked next to each other
we reached out and touched
it was like fire
it was my first time
and dear do i want it again
again and again and again
stupid
no one cares about you evan
you are nothing evan
let that sink in your head
go cry in the corner
no one cares
no one hears you
because you won't let them
you won't
you are tough
you act tough
you are not tough
you are stupid
fragile
breakable
worthless
meaningless
hopeless
and you will cry
you will keep crying
until there is nothing left
until there is no tear
until there is no voice
until there is no one
for you
why don't you keep this moment evan
why don't you live in the moment
no evan don't fall for it
you suck
a dick
lol
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