There is a well-known phrase which says "The person who broke you can't be the one who fixes you."
I both agree and disagree.
Sometimes it's not about the person but more about the idea or what they said to you, making you believe that's who you really are. They will do their best to drag you down, even worse, make you doubt yourself. But that's the point. At the worst moment, it is our duty to stand still and tell ourselves who we really are. As a reminder of who we once were before they broke us.
After the situation has happened, it is too late to apologize. Clearly we don't need that person anymore. Still, deep down, we need the same person to come back and correct what they said. Just to confirm the thought that THEY WERE WRONG. And that is it; nothing more. It is hard to separate between the person and their words. Most of the time we think that we need the person but we don't. What we actually need are the words, not the person. Vindication.
I would say
"Just say sorry and then go. I don't need you anymore."
and I move on
If you are strong enough, you don't necessarily need absolution. You can just walk away and carry on your life like nothing ever happened. In some cases that is not possible. But remember, you are not the one to blame. It is not good to always blame everything around you but sometimes it is much better than blaming yourself.
Back to the basic question. ARE WE TOO HARD ON OURSELVES? WHAT ARE THE TEARS FOR? I believe that answering these two question is a way to stop the tears. Just take a moment to stop and think; what are you moaning for? How did we let everything happened in the first place? The answer is easy. Because we gave away the power to overcome our feelings.
As a matter of fact, no one can make you feel anything unless you let them to. Our decision could be right or it could be wrong. But again "Who gets to decide what is right and what is wrong?"
There is nothing wrong with wanting what you deserve.
There is nothing wrong with walking away from a person who doesn't treat you right.
People always want a dramatic story, but sometimes it is just a tiny little thing. A few words are all we need. That is how they fix you.
We might wonder
"What happened to them next?"
They just spill out the bad words and 5 minutes later they have forgotten what they've done. That is what happens. These kind of people never know how much damage they have caused, or even if they do, they don't care. Why would they bother? Take my word "If they had really cared about you, they wouldn't have hurt you in the first place." Life is simple. If they don't care, we don't have to. I call it"fairplay"
The wound is still there, it never goes. For everyone that left you also taught you something. As a result of the emotional lesson you learn, either you become more sensitised and understanding or you end up insensitive and indifferent.
For me personally, I choose to become more sensitised. The choice has never been easy. It keeps getting harder and harder every time. I almost gave up to be honest. But when I look back, I never once regret what I choose. Because I know for me this is for the best.