Love. 

The concept you’ve probably heard of thousands and thousands of times. 

Okay, I might be exaggerating a bit, but that’s how much I think the concept has been stamped on my mind. I’ve always dreamt of finding love one day, like many girls at my age. But guys, I’m twenty-two, and I see no love or something remotely similar entering my life anytime soon.

         Some would blame me for not going out and meeting other people. Fair enough. 

But I am an introvert (yes, I believe in this binary shit and I don’t care if you don’t) and going out is. Very. Exhausted. So, I try the not-so-notorious-anymore dating application called Tinder. TADAH. It didn’t work. No surprise there. I mean, I kind of developed a relationship with a good guy from the app once, though it’s on another app. But it was short-lived, and we broke up after a month.

         I think it’s because I got the concept terribly wrong at that time. You see, I went through my first breakup a year before. It was bad, but well any breakups are usually bad, so I wouldn’t put any emphasis on that. I simply thought that having anyone decent enough beside me through this time is definitely better than being alone. 

         I was a fool, obviously, and that line of thinking was very problematic as you might already know. Because when I found one person that talked the same language as me, liked Nolan, and listened to 1975, I just thought, “Well, this must be it.”

         Don’t follow my footsteps, guys.

I should have watched (500) Days of Summer years ago, so I wouldn’t have made the same mistake in believing that 

“Just because (s)he likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean (s)he's your soul mate.” 

Thank you, little Chloe Grace-Moretz for that eye-opening speech. 

However, the only difference is that I’m not Tom, but Summer in the equation. It turned out I was never in love, at least not romantically. I just tricked myself into believing that I do, to numb my pain of loneliness at that time. Sure enough, an innocent person was hurt in the end. That’s not me, but you already knew that. So, you can’t imagine the feeling when I learnt that he found the love of his life (at least I hope so) a couple months later. It was kind of bittersweet, but more on sweet. It felt like my guilt had been lifted a bit, and I’m happy for him.

Last month, they just celebrated their first anniversary, or second, I don’t keep tracks. But I’m still single. How about that? Anyway, a random guy on Tinder just sent me a message. Gotta go answer that.