I was alone at the Sigur Rós concert. I mean there were thousands of people at the arena, but I went there by myself. I thought I could handle it. I was an arrogant little bitch. I looked at an old man and his old wife, parents with their kids, groups of friends laughing, and young lovers holding hands. I was wondering how does it feel like to attend a concert with people I enjoy sharing these moments. Since I have been here, I have seen too many beautiful places and experienced so many extraordinary things. I didn’t feel lonely because I was alone at those places, I felt alone because I wish someone was there, so they would have known how I felt for those beautiful moments. I know what I want. I’m too good at self-awareness and that was me being arrogant, again.

When I got into the venue, on my left was a couple, and on my right, was a middle age man, he was there alone too. When the first melody began, I knew was wrong. It was beautiful in every sense I could perceive.I then realised that no one would ever understand how I feel. I could have my best friend with the same taste in music sitting next to me at that venue, and she would never share the exact feeling with me. She might perceive the same aesthetic moment, but she would see it from outside in. The whole experience was inside of me. In my head, I would still be alone with that moment.

The concert went half way. I looked at the couple next to me. The man enjoyed the music so much he forgot his girlfriend was sitting next to him. The woman looked so bored it was written on her forehead she wished she wasn’t here. I turned to my right, the man seemed to be alright with himself. I felt sad, but not for myself anymore.

I ended the stage of loneliness I had, the one that I needed someone to share that moment. It sounded great until I realised I exacerbated it. It will always be me and others. It’s me and those I love. It’s me and those I despise. It’s me and those I’m so indifferent to.

Anyway, that night was me and Sigur Rós.