Oh wow. It’s been 2 years but I’m still not moving on. Pathetic. I keep coming back to you, to see how you're doing, to see if you still thinking of me, to see if you have someone else.
You are the first thing in my mind when I feel down. I used to laugh seeing the post saying that nobody can forget their first love but look at me now. Somehow I feel like I’m stuck in those sweet memories that we had together and addict to your love and all the things you do for me. It’s funny how different we cope with that breakup of ours. You got hurt, cried, and moved on. I hurt you, dated others but still here; send dm to your abandoned account. I don’t even know why I have to dm you in English. Maybe it’s because I'm trying to be someone else rather than myself and not admit that I still miss you. Or maybe just because I want to look cool.
I know that I have another person that I have to take care and I don’t want to hurt her by letting her know that I’m not over you. And I painfully know that you seeing other people and maybe forget me already. That’s good for you. It really is. It feels so good to see you all happy and active, got many friends, become successful in everything you do.
But it hurts to see that I don’t have any place in your life and becoming an old stingy memory. I’m sorry that I hurt you but what can I do? I cannot change anything. I hope one day I will entirely and completely over you. ‘I think it may take 3 years to forget her’ you said. If that’s true I think for me it may take longer than that. I’m not sure if it’s guilt that makes me feel this way. I don’t want to think about you anymore. It’s tired. I should say goodbye.
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