What? There's no such thing. Turtles don't hiss.

I know they do.

He shows me a video of a turtle hissing on Youtube.

Come on, you didn't know that until we saw this video together just now.

Haha. But I was right. Now do a turtle hiss.

How?

Like this.

He hisses.

Like this?

I hiss.

Hahahaha.

I hiss at him again at random times on our trip.

Woah, that's a big one.

It's random turtle aggression.

Hahahaha. That sounds like something the government would say. We will not tolerate this random turtle aggression!

Hahahaha.

Hahahaha.

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.

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Say custard buns.

Custard buns. Why did you have to make a fat kid noise?

I want to eat custard buns.

I want to eat custard buns.

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.

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Why are you so cute?

I'm not.

You're cute as a button.

He pulls me close and kisses the top of my head.

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You're going away. That's why I'm hesitant about you.

I cry. Inhale another laughing gas. Cry again. He takes me home. I fall asleep in his arms.

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Am I cool?

No, you're not.

What. So mean.

You're awesome.

What's the difference?

One is better than the other. Awesome is better than cool. You're awesome. Don't you ever forget that.

Did you mean it?

Yeah.

You just made me cry. Hahaha.

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I didn't want to cry. I never wanted to cry. I just get really sad thinking about this having to end. I don't know what to do.

He puts his arm around me and pull me close. He put his head on mine.

.

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What should I do?

About what?

About this. Us.

Don't you think that this is already not a good sign? Us having to figure things out every time?

.

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You seem to be going through a lot and I'm not helping.

Just you being you helps a lot. Us hanging out.

I don't want to hang out.

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I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.

It's okay. I understand. I would probably do the same if I were you.

I'm so sorry. I don't want to break your heart. I don't like you romantically.

It's okay.

That's one of the longest I've cried. You made me cry.

I'm sorry.

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You don't understand these conversations about having it figure out every little thing is not fun or comfortable for me.

(It's not fun for me. It never was. I just want to understand you. I just want us to have a good time together.) I was just asking because you seemed uninterested.

I wouldn't date you even if you weren't going to Scotland. I'm okay with being friends.

(That hurts so much.) Okay.