I started March with my head in the clouds. I remembered carefully connecting the dots on my bullet journal, making my own monthly planner. Trying to make it neat because I had high expectations this month.
I thought about filling those boxes with my accomplishment. I thought about crossing off that one item that has been in my 'important stuff' for the past two months. I thought about the satisfaction and relief I would feel crossing it off letter by letter. f-i-n-d a j-o-b.
I thought about writing down 'meet up with <a friend>' on at least 4 boxes for the whole month. I didn't get to write that down once.
I thought about so many possibilities.
Boredom is killing me. It gets harder and harder to sleep, even harder to get up. I looked at my hamster Timmy and felt sorry for him. I've been keeping him in the cage for probably more than half his life. I gave him scrumptious treats and nutritious food every day, provide him clean water, clean bed, clean house, and some chew toys. I wonder if he ever wanted to break free from the cage. I wonder if he ever felt bored.
I hate myself more and more every day I wake up. It took longer for me to get out of bed.
I haven't started making my April bullet journal.