I know that you didn't get the spark feeling. I know that you really aren't ready for relationship things. You still need your times to study, hang out with your friends and do your own things. I know it when you said 'cause I don't wanna hurt you' haha<< Even though, it's not a point. You said that just to make me feel better, right? If you really get the feels with someone you'd probably ignore those little things, make an effort, and try to go with the flow. But yeah because im probably not your right one yet haha. I understand it all and I can accept it (: We're at this point because I asked you to take a risk on us (but more likely trying). And you've tried it. I know that you did your best. I also tried my best to get to you too. But Tada! I still can't figure out your real feelings that you have on me. The only thing I've found out is I like you? but I don't wanna go further deep down than this because I don't feel that you want me as much as I want you >> I don't mean that I don't wanna hurt my own feelings because I won't (and I shouldn't) and im not gonna regret it that I like you but the real thing is I don't wanna hurt our friendships * I feel like im already in your friend zone* Haha. And the point that I said 'I want you'. I don't mean that I want to 'own you' haha I just would love to have you around, care you, share my stupid everyday stuffs with you, cook you foods sometimes :p, bake you cupcakes, eat cakes with you, take a nap with you, and study with you :D However, relationship is about two people, if Im the only one who trying to make it, it's not gonna work out anyway. And so far from my previous relationships, I've never needed to *try hard* to get into that persons. Basically, they chased after me jk. They just opened up, and I did the same that's how we got together. But with you it's different, I feel like I have to chase you but yeah I don't have to haha chasing after a guy is not cool ay?

I've been thinking about it a lot and yeah I know what I want now. As I couldn't answer your question last time cause im not sure about it, remember? Well, I just want you to care about me. *even I know that my parents, my close friends, and my good friends care about me but I also want a bf who cares about me too* I want a bf who I can count on him and enjoy our little everyday activities together, a bf who can talk about the nonsense stuffs with me, and a bf who can also be my best friend *doing some stupid crazy shits together* haha im not saying that you can't do that things for me. But you're just more busier than I thought. and importantly, I want a bf who I can feel comfortable with. However, I do get the safe feeling when im with you tho so you got that one point✔️ haha and that's also one of reasons why I like you.

Moving on to this sensitive part... *take a deep breath* and don't assume that im overthinking because this is how I really feel.

I hate the feeling when I wake up and don't see your txt, neither morning or goodnight. I hate it when I have to check my phone more often to see whether you text me or not. I hate it when I wait for the lift and hope to see you pop up. I hate it when I need to work out what you're thinking when im not around. I wonder what do you think when you hear my name. I wonder what do you talk to your friends about me. I hate it when I keep wondering what are you doing now when you don't text me(probably studying)haha and if you want to ask why I don't text you first? Haha cause I want to give you some spaces. I don't want to bother your times and I want to see if you really want me to become part of your life or not. I mean if you 'really' wanna talk to me then you will text me? but mostly not(?)hahaha cause I know you're doing fine with or without me. 

And like today if you really want me, you can just move your ass upstairs. It's not hard at all but you just didn't want to haha

I feel like I shouldn't talk to you on last Friday night saying the stupid stuffs that I already know the answers. You made it clear since the last day of our mid-semester break haha. But anyway, thanks for trying (a lil bit more on this week).

I don't know what's the point im typing this but if I speak to you in person, I probably forget some part of it haha. So, Thanks for the beautiful times in these past few weeks. I enjoyed every most of it. And don't worry about me getting hurt or something hahaha im actually fine (: 

I'll always care for you

B x