It was that feeling of strong denial at first.
When you told me this does not work, I could not believe it. My mind and heart were racing, they went every where searching for reasons to save whatever we had left. Maybe if I had said the right thing, it would not have gone this way.
But what I didn't know, or did not want to accept, was that there wasn't anything I could have said. Love was gone, decision was made. I could not do anything more than to respect your decision.
I didn't believe it was happening. I went in for a hug. You cried the moment you saw my open arms. I was confused. I was in denial. When we hugged, you breathing in my smell and me yours, it felt the same. When you asked if you could kiss me, your lips felt the same.
I really couldn't tell love wasn't there anymore. It was warm, soft, and gentle. It felt like home.
I clung to you and kept saying the same words over and over. I begged and pled, but none of these can get through the wall you put up against me. It was over.
When we pulled ourselves from that very last hug, it felt like that feeling when you lose grip of something. Like a ribbon slipping out of your hand. Soft, delicate, and gentle. Beautiful, but it was completely out of your control.
Life has not been easy, but I'm letting myself feel all the emotions. It's been up and down, left and right. One second I was fine, the next I was a wreck, wearing your shirt crying ugly on the floor.
You shirt is still with me, but your smell on it faded a while ago.
I wish it stayed just a bit longer, until I stop missing you.
I wish you stayed, just a bit longer.