I was not sure what I was doing.
One thing, a fact, is that I did not intend to stay here any longer than a year.
I remember wanting to be a veterinarian. I've always had the love for animals. I have to admit that I'm not the best at socializing nor am I good at talking, starting or carrying on conversations, though sometimes I might appear to be so. I feel comfortable and relaxed around my pets. A part of me wishes I understand what they are trying to say in case they are in pain so I could help them, but another part of me also wishes that the barks and meows remain secret as I don't really want to know if they feel annoyed or if they think I'm a boring companion.
I decided that maybe this is it. This is the thing I want to do for the rest of my life, helping animals, being with animals. Time flew by and I was pushed and forced to make a decision. I chose Math-science. And to be honest I suck at everything apart from biology and English.
I wasn't paying attention in high school. Mediocre might be the right word to describe my high school life. I loved it thought, every single bit of it, just that I was mediocre in everything, academically and socially.
Before I knew it I had to make a big, big decision. I still tried to go for veterinary school, but my grades pulled me down. My scores in science and English were not that bad. But my grades.
Things got a bit blurry at this part of my life. I didn't know why or how, but I ended up here, in the Faculty of Arts.
I did not feel truly happy or fulfilled. I sure was happy but I really felt that this is not my place. Not where I belong.
Confused, lost, and still couldn't get over the fact that I suck so I couldn't get into vet school, I didn't pay much attention to classes in my first year.
I tried again and this time my scores are high enough to get me in a vet school of my dream.
But I didn't apply for it.
I still don't know why.
I remember sobbing for a week because I felt dumb I did not grab the chance. I didn't understand myself.
I still don't.