We were back to not seeing. To talking through data and tweets and mentions. Through lines of countless ones and innumerable zeros.
It was weird, after actually seeing her in the flesh and sleeping next to her in her bed, but it was also a comfort in a way. Having her in my personal space 24/7 was a bit drainning.
The other thing was that I liked missing her. It felt good because it meant that now I had someone to miss.
I didn’t even know what that said about me.
One day, she sent me a picture of the sun. I couldn’t fathom which one of our inside jokes involved the sun, so I replied: “thats very bright”
“Like you.” She sent back lightning fast. And then, “No. Actually.” She sent me another pic: The Solar System.
“Im like the solar system?” I wrecked my brain trying to decode the meaning.
“And I wish I could be Mr. Galilei and every other astronomers after him. I want to discover things about you, I like discovering new things about you. And even if I couldn’t know everything about you, it’s ok.”
Wow, was the first thing that popped into my head. Shit, was the second.
Times like this made me want to see her in person, let her see everything on my face. Well, maybe not everything, but something. Most of it.
I honestly didn’t know what words or sentences would be the appropriate response for that. I told you before that I wasn’t good with words. They were more her thing.
Her words scared me a little. I wasn’t that amazing, or even interesting. I was definitely not the Solar System. What if some day she knew the truth.
Okay. But. Her words did make me smile to my laptop screen. My thoughts were so disorganized right now.
I thought about Galileo Galilei and how he was condemned by the Church because of his ‘heresy’.
“If im the solar system” I replied. “then youre the oncoming supernova”