Today is the worst day since the last 3-4 years ago, my boy said to me that, “i think i should live alone.” (Seriously, i dont wanna be his ex, and i dont want him to be my ex, too) He said this because we have the problem about his ex for a long time until nowadays we still cant figure it out. And bae decided to break our relationships, and i guess, he is thinking that living alone can figure out the problem. How could i live without him.. i cant stop crying, i’ve been crying for 6 hrs. I cant stop thinking about my life next, like since we started talking till right now i always feel that he is always by my side, and i feel like i used to have him in my life, but the next day, it will not be the same anymore, how can i live without him. I’m not ready for being without him, i hoped that our relationship may be longer than this, at least we would get through 2019 together, but from now on, it cant be possible because he is gonna go, and i have to get through this year alone like every years i did. He just told me in a few days ago that we will go to the beach soon, is that soon really? And he used to promise me that he will be with me until my hair is long, and he told me that he wont leave me (i can understand what is his “wont leave” means; he means that he will be at the same place like he used to be, but different relation, i knew that), and i don’t want to be in that situation, he will come to see me today for the last time i guess (but i dont want it to be the last). I’ll tell him of how much i love him, and i didn’t love anybody like this for a long time ago, this is the first time from the last 3-4 years ago that i feel like i have a real relation, a real love, and i didnt crying too much like this for someone for a fucking long time. I want to know that all the time that he spent with me, was it good, did he feel happy with me. There are so many things left that i want to do with him but it’s not gonna happen after this. There are so many places i wanna go with him, but no more chance to do that. Will he feel sad like me? “Love,” that comes from his mouth, how do i know that it’s real, but for me i wanna tell him that i was really happy spending the time with him, i felt so good when he treated me, i feel safe when he’s around, and i really want all of these stay with me for a long time, but i know that it’s impossible. And i used to tell him that i would agree all of his decisions, this time he makes a decision already, so i have no right to begging him to stay with me. All i can do now is telling him that i love him so much, and thank you for all whole things he did for me. If one day you feel like you have no one to be by your side, please remember that i’ll always be around. And i’m waiting to be happy for you on the day you were succeed to your goals, i’ve been being proud of you since the first day that i started to know you, i knew that you’re a real super person, you are diligent, have a fucking good responsible to your work, have a great creative mind, etc. And please remind that if one day someone trys to insult you, there is someone who can see a thousand good things in you from here on.